Every body's down

I have had a very hard week, and by the looks of facebook so have many others.  I was actually in the middle of a full blown "why me, why Tyler" break down when I got a call that my mom was not doing well  Suffering from Copd, Emphysema she has had hard days, but never that she couldn't get out of bed,  or not being aware of what day it was...So Saturday I went over got her out of bed and took her to the hosp.  For some reason it was hard, really hard to hold back tears.  Hadn't even talked to the doc yet and I was so shook up.  Never really just  watched her breathe before. How did I not notice before how much she really struggles to breathe.  I guess it progressed fairly slowly..kinda snuck up on me.  She was the same old mom to me, just toted an oxygen tank with her every where.  She never really complained, took her meds, was on oxygen couldn't work any more...But really didn't look like she was struggling until Saturday.  Watching her like this has made me realize that she is not going to be around forever...She is not the invincible person I thought she was.  My grandmother died from Emphysema when I was younger but I don't remember her fighting to breathe like this. maybe I was too young to really understand.   I sat with my mom while they did her breathing treatments, I held the mask over her nose and mouth for her telling her to "just breathe" and when she answered with "I just can't anymore" My world crumbled..She is going to struggle for every last breath...and all I can do is hold her hand...Is this what its going to be like for Tyler?   How do people stay so strong...I feel so helpless and useless...